Philosophy, Goals and Reality

At first my energy was taken in dealing with the stress my family and workmates were having with my change.

One man said that I ought to have transsexual tatooed on my forehead so that "fair dinkum blokes like me won't be tricked into homosexuality!"

Men are weird - they tell me I'm fat. They say if you are a woman - you're weight is important.

1992 - I am physically stressed when I have THE operation ... You know ... when the surgeon turned my - sow's ear - into a silk purse.

Post re-Natal Depression

A few months later I start to feel disoriented.

I have achieved my Utopia - mostly.

So much of my life - was spent fighting my own transgender-phobia. What do I do now? What will I be when I grow up? What do I dream now?

The ten percent of my personality that wasn't transgender expanded to be 98%.

Reality Sets In

I have so much energy to spare. I start to get better and better at my job - and really start to enjoy my life so much more.

Now I'm what I always wanted to be - a tomboy - a femme tomboy.

But I realise I want to live in a society of happy healthy people. I have been so self-obsessed I haven't really noticed that society has changed. Some things are better but there is now high unemployment, homelessness and poisoned air. - I haven't noticed this.

I realise how self obsessed I have been.

For my dream to be complete I needed society to change; to be compassionate.

Oh no! I'm becoming an idealist.

I can't change the world by force; but small numbers of individuals have made differences; why? chaotic change! the right place at the right time.

I try so many things I had never done before; sing, I became politically active.

Will that make a difference?

I can do almost anything; but I can't do everything.

How to choose; to prioritise where to spend my energy.

I can be a creative thinker!

I can fix things; plant trees help people!

I can lobby for change!

I can be political!

Read the wisdom of millenia, learn from the mistakes and good judgement of others.

Balance

Balance between learning and teaching, doing and thinking, family and society,

And isn't it amazing that Lao Tse spoke of this 3000 yrs ago and I've just figured it out now.